My Uncomfortable Mind

 My Dearest Lord, I think that I am in need of your assistance.  It has become quite a struggle to write,  It’s also become very quirky. My fingers are a bit twitchy, no doubt, the result of anti-psychotic medications that I must ingest. My brain is affected.  I often think…

     I’m really struggling, to write this blog.  I feel like I’m pushong a giant boulder, uphill..  I simply do not know what  to write.      Before, most of my blog entries, just oozed out of my soul.  New Psychiatric medications have found me with twitching fingers, spelling…

     I feel like a failure.  I have failed everyone, who knows about my recent suicide attempt. I ffeel like a loser….I didn’t wanr to save myself.    I was beyond saving.  I didn’t give a fuck, anymore.      My Dear Lord, please forgive me.  My wonderful husband,…

     On October 13…which was also the anniversary of my Nana’s death, and close to the time that I miscarried, my baby, a couple of decades ago, with a lot of problems in the family, with my loss of my beloved job, in the supermarket, with my half-brother’s birthday…

     Admittedly, I have numerous fears in life, real and unreal.  One of my biggest fears is rejection.  Rejection,  has happened to me a countless number of  times, in my 47 years, here on Mother Earth, with strangers, with friends, and even with close relatives.      When it…

     The wonderful Actor/Comedian, Robin Williams passed away very recently.  There have been loads of tributes to him, however, I have been slow, writing out my thoughts, on the subject.  It hurts.       The suicide of Robin Williams has affected me, to my inner core.   I…

     I had a strange dream a few nights ago.  I dreamed that I was with a bunch of girls, getting ready to go to the Senior Prom.  I couldn’t decide on which gown to wear.  Because it was so close to Christmas time, my wonderful friend, Michele suggested…

     Every once in awhile, like now, I write a description of myself….just to let you know, who I am….. My name is Christine, and I am 47 years old.  I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Schizoaffective Disorder.   I have been writing my blog entitled:…

     This past week and a half, have been wonderful for me.  I have been busy, doing things that I love,and I think that business can contribute to happiness.     I spent some hours volunteering, in the office of my church, last week, doing basic receptionist work.  I…

     I resigned from my job at the supermarket about a month ago, and my life is finally showing me signs of joy again.  I’m not saying that my life is perfect, now, but it is starting to show promise.      My deep depression has lifted, and my…