My Uncomfortable Mind

     I have a friend, that I went to high school with.  Although, I do not have any memory of him, from those days, almost 30 years ago, we met up 2 years ago, on Facebook.
     One day, he posted, on Facebook, that his very young son was having hallucinations.  I responded, with my own advice & experiences,  as a survivor of both Schizoaffective Disorder and PTSD, and we have become like family, over the past 2 years.
     Recently, my friend’s 10 year old son was hospitalized after attempting to strangle his 9 year old sister.  In the past year, he also tried to strangle his mother, who abused him, and has since, abandoned him.
     This child, has over 10 different psychiatric diagnosis’, and has the emotional development of a 2-5 year old child.  He is a very sweet, intelligent child, but when he rages, it takes five adult police officers & EMT’s to restrain him.  And he is tiny for his age.
      Last weekend, we drove up through the woods of NH, a total 4 hours drive, for my husband Frank & I, to bring my  friend, to see his child, who was hospitalized up there.
     It was a most difficult expedition, emotionally.  What do you say to a 10 year old child who has tried to kill 2 of his family members?
     His father showed me a letter that the child had written to him.  It was a suicide note, a cry for help.
     I told my little friend, that we all loved him very much  and that he would have to work hard to get better. I told him that people like him and me, had an extra hard struggle in life, because we both had mental illnesses and PTSD, from child abuse.  But I also told him that he could be successful, and mostly, happy, if he worked at it.  I told him that he must start to open up and talk about his feelings, because that was the only way he would start to heal.  I hope that my little friend listened to me, and will put my words to good use.
     When the visit was over, both my friend and his little boy cried.  It was so incredibly heartbreaking.