My Uncomfortable Mind

     It has been over a year since my first hospitalization in March of 2014.  I had lost 40 pounds of weight from not eating much of 2013.  I hadn’t had a good  night’s sleep in 2013.  I’d go to bed, toss and turn, and get up by 3…

     Forgive me for not writing in a while.  Since my illnesses of Schizoaffective disorder, Panic Disorder, & Post Traumatic Stress Disorder have struck me, again, in March, 2014, I have not been the same.  I go through some content passages, but I always end up feeling out of…

 My Dearest Lord, I think that I am in need of your assistance.  It has become quite a struggle to write,  It’s also become very quirky. My fingers are a bit twitchy, no doubt, the result of anti-psychotic medications that I must ingest. My brain is affected.  I often think…

     I’m really struggling, to write this blog.  I feel like I’m pushong a giant boulder, uphill..  I simply do not know what  to write.      Before, most of my blog entries, just oozed out of my soul.  New Psychiatric medications have found me with twitching fingers, spelling…

     I feel like a failure.  I have failed everyone, who knows about my recent suicide attempt. I ffeel like a loser….I didn’t wanr to save myself.    I was beyond saving.  I didn’t give a fuck, anymore.      My Dear Lord, please forgive me.  My wonderful husband,…

     On October 13…which was also the anniversary of my Nana’s death, and close to the time that I miscarried, my baby, a couple of decades ago, with a lot of problems in the family, with my loss of my beloved job, in the supermarket, with my half-brother’s birthday…

     Admittedly, I have numerous fears in life, real and unreal.  One of my biggest fears is rejection.  Rejection,  has happened to me a countless number of  times, in my 47 years, here on Mother Earth, with strangers, with friends, and even with close relatives.      When it…

     The wonderful Actor/Comedian, Robin Williams passed away very recently.  There have been loads of tributes to him, however, I have been slow, writing out my thoughts, on the subject.  It hurts.       The suicide of Robin Williams has affected me, to my inner core.   I…

     I had a strange dream a few nights ago.  I dreamed that I was with a bunch of girls, getting ready to go to the Senior Prom.  I couldn’t decide on which gown to wear.  Because it was so close to Christmas time, my wonderful friend, Michele suggested…

     Every once in awhile, like now, I write a description of myself….just to let you know, who I am….. My name is Christine, and I am 47 years old.  I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Panic Disorder, and Schizoaffective Disorder.   I have been writing my blog entitled:…