My Uncomfortable Mind

     A lot has been happening to me, physically, emotionally and mentally.   I have been vomiting just about every  day.  But what is most concerning, has been sleep disturbances.  I see strange creatures crawling the walls, while awakening.  I have hallucinated also strange boys in my  bedroom.  …

     Oh my Lord, I am calling to you again.      My husband knew of a friend,  a friend  of his sister, named D…She had been married for 20 years to an asshole.     After her divorce,  She got involved with a guy that,  I will  only…

     I have been suffering, within.   My husband, and I,  came home from, Jamaica, about a month ago. It was a magnificent vacation.  But for some reason, I ache within.   I want to go back.      The water, and the beach, at our resort, was so…

     My husband and I, recently took a vacation, to a resort in Jamaica.   It was something that we have never done before.   We have taken a few mini trips, like business trips.  They were  not true vacations.      Before our vacation to Jamaica, I was…

      The holidays have passed.   Thanksgiving day, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Day, went relatively smoothly.   I felt numb and scared, getting through it though.       Every year, in the holiday season, I feel irritable, angry, frightened.   I have thoughts of my brother…

     I am feeling rather lost.  About a week before Christmas, I began feeling so numb.  I did not make a list, to send out Christmas cards,   I did not make a list of people that I wanted to send gifts to.      I did help my…

     It is  now winter here, in New England, USA.   This time of year, begs me to go to bed, by darkness.   Maybe to escape, my  own personal reality.      As a child, I would never admit to it, but I secretly loved going to sleep,…

     I realized something, recently, that I hadn’t thought of  before.   I realized, that I think of my father, every, single, day.   I think of him despite the emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, and neglect, that he bestowed upon me.              …

     I often wonder, if my life would be much bigger, bolder, braver, more successful, if  I did not have PTSD, Panic Disorder and Schizoaffective Disorder.  I like to imagine myself  as independant, and super powerful.   But, I never really believe it.      People have told me,…

    I  am feeling sadness, and guilt, because, I have not written, in this blog, for months. I consider, my, blog called “My Uncomfortable Mind”, to be my biggest accomplishment in life.     It has been a rough summer.   My husband and I, did, however,  go hide…