My Uncomfortable Mind

     I feel blessed, so blessed today.  And I feel that way, every time I have a good day.  It wasn’t very long ago, that my mind was suffering badly.   In the past year, I have been hospitalized twice for depression and psychosis.  Before my last hospitalization, I…

     Today is Mother’s Day and I have mixed emotions and a bit of sadness.  I wanted to become a mother for many years, but when I was 24, I was in a bad relationship, and was surprised to find myself pregnant.  But I lost the baby due to…

     I am wrestling with the idea of losing the “X” and using my real name, but I am not sure if I am ready for that.  To be honest, I’m afraid to use my own name because there’s a lot of evil people out there, who do not…

     I should probably tell you a little about myself.  I have been described by friends as “sweet”, “kind”, and “quiet”.  I love animals, art, children, and life itself on the good days.  I have been married to Frank for 18 years and he is the most supportive person…

Today, I looked up Schizoaffective Disorder, on Google, and when I read about it, I cried.  It seems that it includes Schizophrenia type symptoms, like hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thoughts, etc., and mood disorder symptoms like depression and mania.  It feels like a prison of sorts.  It feels like a kind…

     My name is Christine and I am almost 45 years old.  This is my very first blog.  I am writing because I feel like I am living in a closet.  But I am not gay, I am mentally ill, I have Schizoaffective Disorder.  I also have PTSD (Post-Traumatic…