I feel like a failure.  I have failed everyone, who knows about my recent suicide attempt.
I ffeel like a loser….I didn’t wanr to save myself.    I was beyond saving.  I didn’t give a fuck, anymore.
     My Dear Lord, please forgive me.  My wonderful husband, I am so sorry for traumatizing you.
Same to my dear Mama and friends….Those that never gave up on me.
     I can’t believe thay I could do this to myself…for the third time. I feel despair within…I feel so, so sad, these days..

3 responses to “#122…..Inner Shame…”

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    We all love you, hang in there you are not a failure 1!!!!

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    Anonymous

    You are loved Chris !!!! –Kevin

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    The fact that you are still fighting your depression shouts volumes about the courage you have! One battle does not define the war, you are not a failure. Arise, seek God's strength and comfort and move forward. Know that you are loved!

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I’m Christine

My name is Christine and I am almost 45 years old. This is my very first blog. I am writing because I feel like I am living in a closet. But I am not gay, I am mentally ill, I have Schizoaffective Disorder. I also have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Not many people know this about me. I have been fearful of “coming out”, because, frankly, the human population has not always been kind to people with mental illness. But isn’t it time that we come to accept all of our bothers & sisters, regardless of their differences?

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