My Uncomfortable Mind

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     My asthma is bothering me again and that leaves me short of breath during easy activities, physically uncomfortable, frustrated and a little scared, but I do not feel deeply depressed like I often do when I am physically ill.  Which is a really good thing, it’ll make battling asthma easier.

     I was able to shower and get dressed this morning with relative ease, so I decided to keep my appointment with my Therapist and my appointment with my Psychiatrist and dragged my body into Boston this morning.  It was not easy, it was raining and I was not feeling too great physically.
But it was worth the trip.  My Psychiatrist seems to think that I am on the right track with medications, since she changed them 3 months ago.  We plan on cutting down and eventually eliminating one of my antipsychotics, so that I will only be taking 4 psychiatric meds.  That will mean 1 med. for depression, 1 med. for anxiety and 2 antipsychotic medications.  Mentally and emotionally, I am in a better place.   I do not feel depressed all the time, anxious all the time and scared all the time like I used to feel.  A lot of people in my life do not realize what I battled every day.
    Then I saw my therapist who said I seemed to be doing very well.  She said that I was making new friends, and engaging in new activities like cooking and blogging.  She said that I was no longer isolating, that I’d made a lot of strides and eliminated toxic people from my life.  She said that I had really battled my depression, that I was now on the other side of it.  I told her that right now, at this point in my life, I feel better than I’ve ever felt in my whole life.  I just hope it stays this way for awhile, mental illness has a way of sneaking up on you and life is full of traumas.

5 responses to “”

  1. Avatar
    Anonymous

    This is very heartwarming to see how you are starting to emerge from the “Fog” of depression. It is so wonderful to hear from your positive side keep up the great work!!

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  2. Avatar
    Anonymous

    It's been a long, rough travel to reach this great point. It has taken a lot of work. But I am feeling eternally grateful to God and everyone who loved me and supported me.

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  3. Avatar
    Anonymous

    My mother and aunts have battled being bi-polar, severe depression, and schizophrenia. Thankfully I do not suffer from these mental illnesses, however I have lived my mother undiagnosed as being bi-polar for many years which is difficult at best. She battles daily with her depression as well. My prayers are with you as you make ever so small strides towards a happier, better life. I understand that it takes time and progress slow, however know that others are out there that suffer as you do. Please also consider a support group of others who also have mental illnesses. Ask your doctors for a recommendation. Hope this helps, Chrissy

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    Anonymous

    Thanks for your prayers Chrissy it means very much

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  5. Avatar
    Anonymous

    Your thoughts and prayers mean a lot to me, Chrissy. Thank you.

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Hello,

I’m Christine

My name is Christine and I am almost 45 years old. This is my very first blog. I am writing because I feel like I am living in a closet. But I am not gay, I am mentally ill, I have Schizoaffective Disorder. I also have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Not many people know this about me. I have been fearful of “coming out”, because, frankly, the human population has not always been kind to people with mental illness. But isn’t it time that we come to accept all of our bothers & sisters, regardless of their differences?

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