My Uncomfortable Mind

     Yesterday, while waiting at the Lowell Train Station, I had an interesting, spiritual experience.  I think that I heard the voice of God.  But he spoke to me intuitively, not in a booming tone as one might expect.      I had just taken the train to Lowell,…

     Yesterday was a bit of a challenge for me, and I’m not quite sure why.  But I suspect it has to do with it being in a summer month, which brings up a lot of bad memories and brings past emotions to the surface.  Or maybe it was…

     A lot has happened over the past 6 months.  But it has all been for the better.      I decided not to undergo ECT…Electro-Convulsive Therapy…shock treatments, anymore.      They did help me, they re-booted my brain after 9 months of undergoing treatments, but it scared the…

     This time of year, the summer months, are very hard for me, and I usually don’t cope as well as I would like to.   It brings up a lot of memories that I wish that I didn’t have, because during the summer, I would have to fly…

     Today is Father’s Day.  Much to my own surprise, I broke down and cried, heavy, deep sobs. I have talked a little bit about my father in a  previous blog, but he can be summed up as a sociopathic abuser.  I have never met any one else as…

     My asthma is bothering me again and that leaves me short of breath during easy activities, physically uncomfortable, frustrated and a little scared, but I do not feel deeply depressed like I often do when I am physically ill.  Which is a really good thing, it’ll make battling…

     I have been missing my Rudy and fighting off a bad asthma flare-up.   On Monday at work, I kept feeling out of breath, after doing simple, easy tasks.  I found my eyes tearing up.  I didn’t know if it was some type of anxiety attack or if…

     Last night I had to make one of life’s most difficult decisions.  I had to have my beloved cat, Rudy Catkins put to sleep.  He was 17 years old, and weighed only 7 pounds…in his prime he weighed 17 pounds.  Rudy had a swollen liver, severely irregular heartbeat…

     I am starting to feel better today, compared to how I felt in my last blog entry.  Even yesterday, I was not myself.  My husband took me for a drive and we ended up in Harvard Square.  He parked the car and persuaded me to take a walk…

     I have not felt like myself, this past few days.  I feel anxious, nervous, exhausted and physically uncomfortable.  I am completely unenthusiastic about life.  I keep trying to do normal things, like shop, but unfamiliar places make me panic inside.  I tried to bake a cake but felt…