My Uncomfortable Mind

     Have I ever mentioned before, that I have a Facebook Page, also called “My Uncomfortable Mind”?  Feel free to check it out.  Sometimes I post articles, and also updates, about myself.
     I recently posted some information on my Facebook Page, that I had not mentioned in this blog.
I,  recently, have been making plans to recieve Electro-Convulsive Therapy  (formally referred to as “Shock Treatments”).   I can’t kick, this Depression, this anxiety, this paranoia.
    I had this procedure done, many times, about 4 years ago,. However, I had a few bad experiences, at a nearby hospital.   As a result, I gave up on ECT, then.
    I remember, me,  being pretty much out of consciousness, with a female nurse, shouting at me, when the procedure ended:  “Christine!  Breathe!  Christine!!!   Breathe!!!.  The nurse later asked me, if I had Asthma.  I replied: “Yes”.
    I also had 2 bad experiences, where, not enough anesthaesia was used.  I remember, laying on the gurney, as they administered my Intro-Venous medicine.  I shut my eyes, I tried to moves, and I was paralyzed,   I tried to open my eyes and couldn’t.  I tried to breathe, and I couldn’t.  I tried to scream, then I finally passed out.  This was the result of not enough anestaesia being used.
    This time, I will be having ECT, in a World-Renowned hospital, in Boston.  I like the Psychiatrist, who will be treating me.  I feel more confident, this time.
   But, I cannot lie.  ECT, really helped me years ago, but, still, I am terrified.  Prayers, please.