It has been over a year since my first hospitalization in March of 2014. I had lost 40 pounds of weight from not eating much of 2013. I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in 2013. I’d go to bed, toss and turn, and get up by 3 in the morning. I became depressed, and psychotic, losing my desire to live.
I was hospitalized again in October of 2014, because, I felt my world come crashing in, again and I attempted suicide. I just could not go on anymore. It was a route, that no one should take.
Since these times, I have not been myself. I feel “just OK”, on the good days. When my father’s birthday came rolling in, February, depression started beating the Hell out of me.
Like many people with PTSD, I have “anniversary dates”, that trigger me. My father’s birthday, is just one of them.
If you have not read this blog before, my father is a sociopathic, homicidal,sadistic, violent, controlling abuser of women and children.
I often think about going into the details of his abuse, but it is crippling, just to think about, and remember. I can’t force myself. Some things may have slipped out, in my blog, over the years, but,
as they say, at this time….. I’m just not feeling it.
Hello,
I’m Christine
My name is Christine and I am almost 45 years old. This is my very first blog. I am writing because I feel like I am living in a closet. But I am not gay, I am mentally ill, I have Schizoaffective Disorder. I also have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Not many people know this about me. I have been fearful of “coming out”, because, frankly, the human population has not always been kind to people with mental illness. But isn’t it time that we come to accept all of our bothers & sisters, regardless of their differences?
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My Uncomfortable Mind 
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