My Uncomfortable Mind

     I resigned from my job at the supermarket about a month ago, and my life is finally showing me signs of joy again.  I’m not saying that my life is perfect, now, but it is starting to show promise.
     My deep depression has lifted, and my anger is dissipating.  I am, at times sensitive and irritable, but that can be cured, usually by some alone time.  I find myself frustrated at my husband, because he doesn’t like to leave my side, and there’s times when I need to be alone, to write.  I am having some trouble sleeping, still.  I start off in bed, and end up downstairs on the couch at 1 AM, watching television, hoping to fall back asleep.  I am still eating only about 1 meal per day, but my doctors’ do not feel concerned because I weigh 200 pounds.  I have lost 30 pounds, so far, in the past year.
     I have had one unsettling experience, however.  While my husband and I, were driving to the movie theater, this past weekend, I noticed a man standing in a doorway, in the rain, about one block away from the theater.  We went into the theater, got our popcorn, and sat in our seats.  About 15 minutes later, the man from the doorway walked in, and sat a few rows directly in front of us.  I panicked.  I said:  “Frankie, that man in front of us, is following me. He’s going to hurt me”, I said, and I started to cry.  I was waiting for that man to pull out a pistol and blow my head off, in my mind.  I started to cry.  Frankie said to me, in his wonderful, kind, understanding way:  “I won’t let anyone hurt you, you are safe”.  “I will always protect you”, he said.  And I was able to finally, calm down.
     To look at me, and spend time with me, you might never guess that I experience these types of psychotic breaks.  I am bright, intelligent, creative, artistic, kind, easy-going, passionate, loving, pretty, compassionate, empathetic, non-judgmental.  Overall, I try to do my best at everything I do.  Unfortunately, though, my brain has “glitches”, that I will probably always have.