My Uncomfortable Mind

     I made my decision, about my job, finally.  After 5 1/2 years, at that supermarket, I resigned.  In fact, I resigned, on July 1, which is my birthday.
     It was not an easy decision for me, but I felt that I had no other choice.  When I worked in the Meat Dept, as a Meat Clerk, I was quite happy & satisfied with my job.  I know….. it was only a lower- level clerk position, but I was really good at it.  I didn’t mind the heavy, laborious work.  I knew my products.  I knew how to do my job, I was great with customers, I loved the guys…all guys.. that I worked with, I loved how they stood up for me, when I was I was ill, I loved how my boss said that I was his best worker.  And I was proud of myself that I could perform this pretty much male-oriented position.
    But as I said in an earlier blog, I became ill and had to be hospitalized.  I was on leave for about 8 weeks, trying to repair my mind and soul.  And when I went back to work, they had given my part-time position to a full-time guy, and my great boss, was transferred to another store.
    They put me in the Deli Dept. to try to appease me, but I was miserable there.  To give you an example, the last day that I worked, I was asked to look through some loaves of bread “To look for holes in the bags where mice had eaten through”….Yes, I really said that…’MICE.  So I looked, and didn’t see any holes in bags.  Apparently, I was wrong.  Because the Deli Manager collected several bags with mice-eaten holes in them, and scolded me because a customer, brought one of these mouse-eaten bags to the manager of the whole supermarket.
    Yes, it appears that I fucked up, I didn’t look carefully enough. I was distracted because I was overwhelmed by my change in jobs.  I was quite depressed, in fact.  But my feeling is::  “Why were there fucking rodents in the supermarket to begin with?  Why come down hard on me, when it is clear that you are a fucking unsanitary department, violating public health codes?”
    To make things clear, I am a really hard worker.  If my boss has faith in me, I will work my ass off for him / her.  I am a totally loyal employee if treated right.  But I could sue this supermarket, because they were violating my civil rights, in many ways, that I have not mentioned.  But suing them might drain me of positive energy.
     So, who knows what I will do occupationally now.  maybe I will go back to college…who knows.  I didn’t make much money at the supermarket, but it was my money, and will be missed.  Fortunately, I do get a small monthly check from SSDI.  It saddens me to think that I will never   pull in a good income.  But peace of mind is crucial.