My Uncomfortable Mind

     For the past week, my mental health, has been failing me, again. I have been going to bed at 6 PM, every night, because, I cannot stand to be awake.  I am surviving on coffee, and 2 slices of wheat toast, with peanut butter, a day.  My husband will have to bathe me tomorrow, because, it seems like too much of a big project, for myself. It has been 5 days, since my last shower.  This is unheard of for me.  The most horrible experience, though, is the uncontrollable crying spells.
     I went back to work about 2 weeks ago, only to find out, that I no longer have the same position, in the Meat Department of the supermarket, where I work. I work in this supermarket’s Meat Dept, for almost 6 years.  I have 10 years experience total, working in various Meat Depts, and 4 years education in agriculture. They gave me a position in the Deli Dept. I have no Deli experience. I had no choice but to accept it.
     This change, in job positions, is going wrong for a few reasons.
     One reason, is because, to me, it is a big change.  I have never been able to accept changes easily.   I thrive on a routine.  When I am having a relapse, in my mental or emotional health, I am vulnerable.  I simply cannot make changes, or I will crumble.
     I am having a difficult time because, I was not given any choice, in this changing of positions, also.  I feel angry & helpless now.
     I am making mistakes, in my job duties, partly because, it is new to me, but partly, because I am so upset inside.  I simply cannot remember things, or concentrate.
    My new boss is impatient with me, because I am making mistakes.  Every time she scolds me, my PTSD is triggered, I feel like a scared little kid, and I panic and cry.
     I feel like the manager of the supermarket, where I work, is trying to cause me to quit, slowly, pushing me out the door.  Several people have suggested this to me, in fact.
     I went to see my therapist today, because, I am falling apart, over this situation.  She told me to take 2 weeks off to work on getting better, and figure out my next move.  She gave me a note to give to the management.  I am going to bring it into work tomorrow morning.  I have a feeling that I may lose my job.