I have had a lot of trouble sleeping lately, and I have found that this leads to bad things. I am learning, that it is stress, to my body & mind, that causes my psychosis.
Just recently, I had been awake for about 40 hours. I was so tired and also sub-consciously stressed out. I tried to go to sleep, but my mind was wandering off, on it’s own. I found myself terrified that we would be murdered in our sleep by machete-wielding assassins. I did not sleep all night long, as I waited for my house to get broken into, and my murderers to strike.
I did not want to wake my husband, though, now, I realize, that I really should have woke him up and expressed my fears. He has a way of calming me.
But once again, I hid my fears and emotions, because, honestly, deep down, I knew, that it was “crazy”. I keep telling myself, that I must talk about my feelings, but I wonder if people really understand.
When I experience paranoia and psychosis, my “fight or flight” instincts take over. I become so terrified of unreal things.
Yet, if you just happened to meet me, you’d never expect my mind of having such glitches.
Hello,
I’m Christine
My name is Christine and I am almost 45 years old. This is my very first blog. I am writing because I feel like I am living in a closet. But I am not gay, I am mentally ill, I have Schizoaffective Disorder. I also have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Not many people know this about me. I have been fearful of “coming out”, because, frankly, the human population has not always been kind to people with mental illness. But isn’t it time that we come to accept all of our bothers & sisters, regardless of their differences?
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My Uncomfortable Mind 
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