My Uncomfortable Mind

     It has been only 2 days, since my last blog update, but I feel so much better, than I had been feeling.  And I am so pleased.  Thank You, Lord!
     As you probably know, I battle Schizoaffective Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but lately, I have had Peri-menopause fighting me.   But, I worked hard with my Doctors, and it has paid off.
      It has been a helluva month.  In the beginning, I began having incredible hot flashes, where I would feel like I was burning up inside.  I would get heart palpitations during these hot flashes, and then I would have anxiety attacks, where, I felt that I couldn’t breathe, and sometimes, I would feel like I was going to pass out.  At night, It was horrible, I would toss and turn, going from hot to cold, over and over, all night long.  Naturally, I could not sleep.  I think that the lack of sleep is what left me feeling so lost.
    To make it worse, I had a terrible cold during this time, which left my body and mind weak and vulnerable.   While at work, one day, I found myself with auditory hallucinations, which really shakes me up. I only hallucinate when I am really stressed, physically and/or mentally.  So, when it happened, I felt quite alarmed.  Thankfully, my hallucinations, only lasted one day.
     I started taking Neurontin for my hot flashes, anxiety, and lack of sleep, and it is like a miracle.  I still have mild hot flashes occasionally, but no more scary heart palpitations.  I am starting to sleep again also.
    My psychiatrist is trying to reduce the amount of medication that I take, so, I stopped taking Risperidol, which is an antipsychotic drug.  That was a stress on my body.  I felt edgy, and hostile, the first few days, after I stopped taking it..  I was afraid that I would become psychotic after the drug left my body, but I am doing OK.
    This morning, however, I have turned a corner.  I feel good, both physically and mentally, which, to me, is a true blessing.  Just 2 days ago, I was losing hope, I felt so sick, so tired.  Now, I see real hope in my future.