It is, indeed, the Holiday Season. And is it hitting me hard. I feel completely anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, as I seem to feel every year, at Christmas time.
Yesterday morning, I woke up extremely anxious. I became angry with my husband because he didn’t have much time to spend with me yesterday morning. I was caving inside and I felt that I needed his calming presence, but he was busy getting ready for work. I took some medication, to calm me down and went to work. The medication hit me hard, I felt drugged and off-balance, I could not concentrate. After an hour at work, I went home. I was extremely depressed all day.
Even though today is my day off, I told my boss that I would come in if I felt better. But when I woke up this morning, I felt worse than I felt yesterday. So, I did not go to work. I have been crying excessively, all day so far. I became angry with my husband because I felt that he should have stayed home with me today, because I am such an emotional mess. Fortunately, he is coming home early today.
I’m feeling really scared. I want to go back to work, and a peaceful life. This is supposed to be a happy time of year, but all it does to me is cause me anguish. I am seeing my therapist tomorrow, I’m hoping that it will help.
Hello,
I’m Christine
My name is Christine and I am almost 45 years old. This is my very first blog. I am writing because I feel like I am living in a closet. But I am not gay, I am mentally ill, I have Schizoaffective Disorder. I also have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). Not many people know this about me. I have been fearful of “coming out”, because, frankly, the human population has not always been kind to people with mental illness. But isn’t it time that we come to accept all of our bothers & sisters, regardless of their differences?
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My Uncomfortable Mind 
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